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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593960">Loving You (As Always)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/niviyumi/pseuds/niviyumi'>niviyumi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Doctor/Patient, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Oneshot, POV First Person, Short &amp; Sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:54:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593960</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/niviyumi/pseuds/niviyumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor Kim Jongin met a patient he knew too damn well. Ten year ago, he wanted to hold this person in his arms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Loving You (As Always)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I had this fic written and saved in some dusty corner of my laptop since 2017. I guess I'm bringing this up now is because I really miss Jongin and Kyungsoo. I miss their moments together.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongin’s POV</p>
<p>Damn, I had to work late again tonight. </p>
<p>It’s not like I’m complaining much, because being a doctor meant devoting your whole life to this profession. </p>
<p>It’s not like I’m not used to the stress and the lack of rest. I had three hours of sleep this morning before I received the emergency call for a patient who just came in with two arms detached. Freak accident. I see it every day and every night. I could hear the sickening sirens of ambulance driving into the hospital compound, from the quarters where the hospital housed doctors like me; the ones whose families and homes were too far away because we were stationed here, at Myungdong Hospital, by the government due to the lack of doctors in the vicinity.  </p>
<p>Home was a three-hour drive from here. I had been staying in these quarters, assigned rooms, for almost four years now. A full-fledged doctor, so they say. I earned enough to feed my parents and sisters back home. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, my busy life almost meant I had zero social life, which had been reduced to video games during hourly breaks and my roommate, Chanyeol, who shared the same room with me. I saw him more than enough times a day to consider ourselves married.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I am also gay – had been so for almost fifteen years ever since I found out about my sexuality in high school. Luckily, no one bullied me for it. I lived through my years hiding my secret from everyone, except my parents. When I entered college, I only told two other people I cared the most – Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.</p>
<p>

Unfortunately, Chanyeol informed me that he would never be gay, though he was quite open about the issue and still considered me his best friend. As for Kyungsoo, he said he could accept either way, not really bothered about gender preferences, and I liked him. </p>
<p>Heck, I had a huge puppy crush on him since high school. I never stopped liking him, even after we graduated together. He went to a different college to study law, and I signed up for medical courses with Chanyeol. Despite having to part ways from Kyungsoo, we still hung out on weekends and called each other every night.</p><p>

I never got around to confess my feelings to him. </p>
<p>And then our time together slowly dwindled away as I became busier. </p>
<p>It was four years ago, just before I received the letter from the Korean government, assigning me to Myungdong Hospital, I heard from a friend of a friend that Kyungsoo was getting married to someone. A guy. </p>
<p>He was getting married to another guy. At least I knew he wasn’t lying about choosing either way. Yet, the news shook me, left a gaping hole in my heart because I realized that Kyungsoo never had feelings for me either. </p>
<p>When I finally received the invitation card to his wedding, I chucked it somewhere dark and hidden, informed Chanyeol that I wasn’t going to attend, and ignored the phone call from Kyungsoo the next day. I knew I was being childish, but I couldn’t quash the anger within me. I was angry with myself mostly, for being such a coward and not confess to Kyungsoo earlier. At least I didn’t have to regret it later, or to feel like a little shit who didn’t deserve Kyungsoo’s friendship.</p><p>

Chanyeol went for the wedding and met a girl named Chemi. They were disgustingly cute together. Luckily for him, she’s a nurse working in the same hospital as ours, so they saw each other almost every night. </p>
<p>I think I’ve ranted too much in one night. Where was I earlier? Oh yes, I’m working late again tonight. There was an emergency call three minutes ago.<br/>
I was needed in the emergency room, No.20 pronto. I quickly dressed into my blue surgery outfit, combed away the loose strand of hair from my forehead – it’s growing long again, but I didn’t have time to get a haircut – and checked my phone one last time for any messages. None. I chucked it into a drawer.</p><p>

When I got to the emergency room, there was a man lying on the table. Eyes shut tight; he was clearly in a lot of pain, from the way he clenched his teeth and there was a bead of sweat rolling down his temple.</p>
<p>I didn’t really see his face properly because a second too soon, a nurse pulled me to the table and placed a pair of surgical scissors in my hand. “Ready for C-Section, doctor.”</p>
<p>“Where’s Chanyeol?” I asked nonchalantly, getting to work immediately. Chanyeol was usually assigned to male pregnancy cases, due to the extreme medical complications doctors faced sometimes. Since he had been doing it on a weekly basis for almost four years, there was no one else in the whole damn hospital who could handle male labour better than Chanyeol. </p>
<p>I was surprised he wasn’t called in to handle this one. </p>
<p>“He’s in another surgery, Doctor Kim. He hasn’t been out for almost 13 hours.” The nurse said. Damn, poor Chanyeol.</p><p>

“I can handle this, nurse Jung. Let’s get this over with.”</p>
<p>An hour later, I was already stitching up the patient and he seemed to have calm down tremendously. I still couldn’t see his face though, but I could almost imagine the relief he must be feeling. The newborn baby had been wheeled away to the paediatric ward. I had assigned another nurse to call in the patient’s family member.</p><p>

Five minutes later, she came back informing me that the patient had no one waiting for him outside. </p>
<p>“Really? You sure about this? No one registered him? Then who brought him here?”</p>
<p>“He came in an ambulance. I checked with the paramedics who brought him. They said he was alone when they barged into his apartment.” The nurse said.</p>
<p>“I see. Well, has anyone registered his name yet?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know who he is. After he wakes up, I’ll ask for his identification.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, nurse Lee.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, doctor.” She walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the patient. The other nurses had also left momentarily, to clean up the tools and attend to other patients. When my work was done, I finally heaved a huge relief sigh and washed my bloodied hands. Then I decided to look at the patient properly.</p><p>

To my greatest surprise, it was Kyungsoo.</p>
<p>----------------------</p>
<p>Kyungsoo’s POV</p>
<p>I could remember the pain coursing through my body. It was awful and unbearable and I was glad it was over. Of course, it wouldn’t deter me from having another kid.</p>
<p>This would be my first pregnancy. My first child. A boy. I couldn’t believe it when I heard the news the first time eight months ago. I was finally going to have my first child. </p>
<p>The whole nine months had been tough on me though. Not only did I have to take care of myself, I had one more mouth to feed inside me. On top of that, my husband of three years was starting to show his true color. Life had been perfect before the pregnancy. We worked in the same law firm. He became an associate and I worked as his paralegal. </p>
<p>We had great sex almost every night and I was utterly and totally in love with him.</p>
<p>Then eight months ago, I announced we were having a kid. For some odd reason, he didn’t take it too well. Instead of coming home every night, he spent more time outside with our colleagues. Drinking. Smoking. </p>
<p>It’s not a huge deal for me because he was already doing that every other night before our marriage. Even after we got married, I allowed him to go out once a while, thinking he might need a small break on his own. </p>
<p>It became an issue, however, after I found out about the pregnancy. This time, I needed him to be around constantly. I was always sick, especially in the morning. The afternoons and evenings were not any better. I could barely eat, because eating meant vomiting out more. I wanted to go home early and just sleep off the pain.<br/>
When I called him, he didn’t pick up. When I asked the other colleagues about his whereabouts, they kept mum. I left the job a week later. </p>
<p>I was starting to feel frustrated with his lack of care. So when I finally confronted him one night, he said he couldn’t stand my behaviour any more. He stayed somewhere else for almost a month, and only came back to pack up his belongings.</p>
<p>“Don’t do this to me, please...” I begged. Three months pregnant by then. My cheeks had sunk in from the lack of nutrients and the constant exhaustion. I could barely stand on my own two feet. He didn’t even look at me. </p>
<p>“Sorry, Kyungsoo. I don’t think we should stay together anymore.”</p>
<p>“I’m carrying your kid too. It’s not just mine.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t ask for a kid. I told you before, remember? I said I never liked children. You accepted me anyway. And now you’re putting all these burden on me when I didn’t want it in the first place.”</p>
<p>“Then you’re just going to leave? We’re married, Kim.” His given name is Won Kim, though I usually call him dear or love.</p>
<p>“I’ll get the divorce papers ready by tomorrow.” His voice was cold, his expression was stoic. I could hear my heart breaking into a million pieces. When the first tear rolled down my cheek, he didn’t even flinch. “Just sign the paperwork tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Then he left. Out the door. Out of my life. </p>
<p>I was jobless. Going through a divorce with my first marriage. Heavily pregnant and always alone. Despite having filed the divorce suit, my husband still gave me maintenance every month to settle the bills and pay for my medical care. The only thing he said he wouldn’t do is to accept the newborn kid into his life. </p>
<p>I was devastated during the remaining months of my pregnancy. Then when the big day came, I expected my ex-husband to pick me up and send me to the hospital. He didn’t even turn up when I called him. </p>
<p>The first person to barge in through the front door was a paramedic. </p>
<p>He didn’t even visit me when I finally woke up at the hospital, looking up at the white washed ceiling. No one came to visit me at all. </p>
<p>I cried silently. The only thing I could look forward to is the bundle of joy I’ve yet to hold in my arms. </p>
<p>Then a face appeared before me, and it was someone I had not seen for the longest time.</p>
<p>“Jongin...” I croaked out, holding back my emotions.</p>
<p>“Are you in pain, Kyungsoo?” I missed his voice.</p>
<p>“No.” </p>
<p>“Then why are you crying? Where’s your husband?” He asked, clearly worried.</p>
<p>“Not here.” I felt weak and lonely, like a child who has lost his parents.</p>
<p>“Is he coming?”</p>
<p>“No.” </p>
<p>Jongin was probably confused by then. He knitted his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly. Then he asked, very slowly, “Why isn’t he coming?”</p>
<p>“He... left me, Jongin. After I told him we were having a baby, he stopped caring. He already filed for divorce a few months ago. The suit is not over yet, but he already told me that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the child.”</p>
<p>I had never seen Jongin so angry until the moment he banged the wall beside my bed. “Where is he now? Tell me!”</p>
<p>I flinched, surprised by his sudden change demeanour. “Jongin, it’s fine. There’s no point going after him anyway. I could take care of the child myself.”</p>
<p>“He fucking left you during your pregnancy, Kyungsoo! What kind of an asshole would ever do that to someone he loves?!”</p>
<p>“He already told me before that he doesn’t want a child.” I plead, trying to calm him down. </p>
<p>“It’s not for him to decide! If he didn’t want a kid in the first place, then he shouldn’t even fuck you to begin with!” </p>
<p>Tears started to pool in my eyes. Jongin’s words were hurting me.</p>
<p>“God damn it, Kyungsoo. Why are you crying? You should be angry at him for treating you like this.”</p>
<p>“Of course I am. But you have no right to decide whether he deserves to fuck me or not! I loved him, Jongin. I still do.”</p>
<p>He became quiet, obviously still angry, but he wasn’t scolding me anymore. “I’m sorry Kyungsoo, for shouting at you.” He said after a while, using his thumb to wipe away the tears on my face. It had been too long since I felt the warmth of someone caressing my face. </p>
<p>“You should rest, Soo. I’ll call Chanyeol to come visit you later. He’s still stuck in surgery.”</p>
<p>“Don’t leave yet.”</p>
<p>He sat at the foot of my bed. “I’ll be right here when you need me. Now, sleep.”</p>
<p>“You won’t leave until I fall asleep, right?”</p>
<p>“I won’t leave.” He promised, managing a small smile. For the first time in a long time, I was finally able to sleep without worries, letting my dreams wash away all the insecurities and hurt and pain I had been holding back the last few months. </p>
<p>When I woke up a few hours later, Jongin was there. Chanyeol was there too, holding my bundle of joy in his arms. I didn’t call out to them immediately though, choosing to watch them silently from where I laid. </p>
<p>“Shi – ah, I mean – man, I don’t how Kyungsoo managed to carry the heaviest baby in the world for nine months.” Chanyeol remarked.</p>
<p>“Are you calling his baby fat?” Jongin laughed, and the baby stirred, letting out a small noise. Chanyeol cooed him back to sleep, glaring at Jongin right after.<br/>
I’m going to kill the both of you later, I silently thought.</p>
<p>“I didn’t even know Kyungsoo was going to have a kid.” Chanyeol said.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t even go for his wedding. I’m sure he still hates me for that.”</p>
<p>“He doesn’t hate you, Jongin.”</p>
<p>“If he doesn’t, I hate myself for being an asshole friend back then. I was immature and a coward, and he has every reason to not forgive me for it.”</p>
<p>“You, of all people, should know that Kyungsoo would never hold a grudge against anyone. He was disappointed, yes, but he doesn’t hate you. Anyway, you were coping with your own feelings for him. I could totally understand why you chose not to go. If Chemi had to marry someone else, I’d probably crash the bar on her wedding day and drink my life away.”</p>
<p>Jongin was silent.</p>
<p>“Anyway, hold him. You haven’t held him yet.” Chanyeol passed the baby to Jongin and Jongin held him gently. I gasped at the serene look on Jongin’s face when he looked down at my baby, muttering sweet words to him.</p>
<p>“You have Kyungsoo’s nose and eyes. He’s so cute, isn’t he? Man, if this is my kid, I would have given up my whole world for him. I still can’t forgive that ass – jerk – for leaving Kyungsoo like that.”</p>
<p>“Kyungsoo’s awake by the way.” Chanyeol announced. The both of them turned to me and I smiled. </p>
<p>“Can I hold him?” I asked.</p>
<p>“It’s your baby. Here, sit up a bit and I’ll put him in your arms.” Jongin instructed. Chanyeol carefully helped me to sit up on my bed, and then Jongin placed the bundle of joy in my arms. I saw his face for the first time, and my heart swelled with so much love and pride. The nine months suddenly felt worthy, and I wasn’t going to be alone anymore.</p>
<p>“He’s beautiful.” Jongin said, sitting beside me. </p>
<p>“He’ll grow up having me as his parent. It’s enough to make me happy.”</p>
<p>Both of us didn’t realize that Chanyeol had already left the room by then, quietly closing the door to give us some privacy.</p>
<p>----------------------</p>
<p>I stayed in the hospital for another day and then it was time to go home. I paid the hospital fee, and finalized my son’s registration. Jonguk, I named him. Do Jonguk.<br/>
Jongin had taken a day off to send me home. We took a cab since I didn’t drive and when I finally arrived home, I made something to eat for Jongin while he put the baby in the crib. </p>
<p>“Pancakes?”</p>
<p>“Anything you cook is to die for.” He grinned, plopping onto the couch to watch something on the TV while I busied around in the kitchen.</p>
<p>After a while, he asked, “Is this officially your home?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, my ex-husband transferred it to my name, saying that he could afford another one himself.”</p>
<p>“Who pays for the bill?”</p>
<p>“I get monthly maintenance from him until Jonguk turns 18, unless I got married to someone else.”</p>
<p>“I see...” He muttered, looking back at the TV. I couldn’t read the blank expression on his face.</p>
<p>Once the pancakes were done, we ate on the couch. It had been a very long time since we hung out together like this. Jongin usually came over to my house after school, to finish up the day’s homework and maybe watch a few movies afterward. Some days we’d go out for a jog or play badminton at the park nearby. </p>
<p>We were watching Bridget Jones then, the first movie. Jongin declared that Daniel was an asshole who doesn’t deserve to own a dick. I laughed so hard at his remark.<br/>
The next few days, Jongin came by almost every night after work. He stayed for a few hours, feeding Jonguk some milk while I took my shower. Then we’d play with the baby together, singing nursery rhymes and reading out children story books. </p>
<p>He slept over for two nights, using the empty guest room next to mine. By the wee hours of the morning or whenever he received an emergency call from the hospital, he’d kiss me on the cheek and kiss the baby on the forehead and leave for work. </p>
<p>It almost feels like I’m married again. I basked in the momentary happiness, though I still couldn’t understand why Jongin is acting this way. </p>
<p>Since he started coming around almost every day, I made another set of keys for him. “Here, this is for you to come in anytime you want.”</p>
<p>Four months since we began this unusual routine, I became used to Jongin’s presence in the house. It felt like a real home again. My ex-husband still called me once a while to check up on me. And I didn’t leave a single detail out. I told him about Jongin and how the baby was doing. Then he’d tell me about work. He always left out the other details, like where he’s staying now and who he’s staying with. </p>
<p>“Kyungsoo, I’m thinking we should get a puppy for Jonguk.”</p>
<p>“He’s too young for a puppy. Anyway, after Jonguk is old enough to crawl or walk, I might want to find a job again. The monthly maintenance is barely enough to pay the bills and provide for the baby’s diapers and food. I need to stock up on groceries too.”</p>
<p>Jongin wore a worried look after I said this, and I almost regretted telling him about my problems. I shouldn’t push my entire burden on him.</p>
<p>“I’ll take care of you, Kyungsoo. You just focus on taking care of Jonguk.” He finally said, taking my hands into his. “Don’t worry too much. If you need anything next time, please tell me.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do that to you, Jongin. I can’t just make you take responsibility.”</p>
<p>“You’re not making me. I want to do this for you.” I didn’t know how to respond to that.</p>
<p>So I let him.</p>
<p>After a while, I realized that I couldn’t live without him. </p>
<p>It was odd at first, really. Jongin had always been my best friend, besides Chanyeol of course. I never fathomed the idea of falling in love with my own best friend. I guess because we were still in high school back then, and wet behind the ears. </p>
<p>After I entered college, we barely saw each other except during the weekends. During the weekdays, we usually talked on the phone, and even that had dwindled down to almost nothing, until months have passed and then years flew by.</p>
<p>By the time I realized my feelings for him, Jonguk had just learned his first word. “Da-da...” He said, looking at Jongin. Jongin dropped the plate in his hands.<br/>
Thankfully, it wasn’t made out of glass. Unfortunately, it had my dinner on it.</p>
<p>“DID YOU HEAR THAT, KYUNGSOO?!” He screeched, excitement overwhelming him. He picked Jonguk up from his high chair and kissed the baby all over his cheeks. “HE CALLED ME DADA.”</p>
<p>I shared his excitement, though my tummy was already grumbling for food by then. While he cooed at the baby and urged Jonguk to call him “da-da” again, I cleaned up the mess and proceeded to eat Jongin’s dinner in silence. The man was so excited he barely noticed his food went missing.</p>
<p>I watched them from across the table; my heart filling up with joy and love at the scene before me. It brought tears to my eyes.</p>
<p>When Jongin finally noticed my silence, he became so worried at the sight of me crying that he immediately came over to my side. “What’s wrong, Kyungsoo? Are you okay? Are you in pain?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m fine actually.” I stuttered, putting down the fork and spoon in my hands. Then I faced him. “I’m just... really happy.”</p>
<p>He said nothing back. </p>
<p>“I don’t think... I could live without you, Jongin. Call me crazy, but these few months – how long has it been? A year? God, time sure flies. It’s been the best one year of my life and I don’t think I could ever imagine a life better than this. Every moment spent with you is a blessing, Jongin. Despite your busy schedule with work, you still find time to spend with me and Jonguk. I know... it will be selfish of me to ask you this, but... if it’s possible, um...” I swallowed the lump in my throat, taking a deep breath.</p>
<p>Then before I could finish my sentence, Jongin closed the distance between us and leaned down to kiss me on the lips. He had one arm wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling back, and a hand at the back of my head pulling me towards him.</p>
<p>I was soaring through heaven. It felt very right to be there in his arms, too. We seemed to mold into each other until there was barely any space between us.<br/>
Jonguk broke us apart when he whined over the lack of attention he was getting.</p>
<p>“The baby’s jealous.” Jongin grinned.</p>
<p>“That’s bad then. There’s only one of you, but the both of us need you at the same time.” I said, grinning. </p>
<p>“Hmm... should I cut myself in two then?”</p>
<p> “Then you’ll die and the both of us will be sad forever.”</p>
<p>“That’s a problem too.” He kissed me again, then he went back to Jonguk. By then, he finally realized that I had eaten all his dinner.</p>
<p>------------------------------- </p>
<p>Jongin’s POV</p>
<p>In just three more days, I’m about to turn thirty-two. Officially.</p>
<p>Of course, I’m not expecting anything from anyone. Nope, nu-uh... totally NOT expecting anything. Perhaps a small kiss on the cheek would do. Maybe a date. Movie, perhaps. Ooh, isn’t there a new movie coming out in three days? Something about cars. </p>
<p>Yes, I’d like a car. After moving in with Kyungsoo – officially, if I might add – I’ve been coming home every night after my shift. Home. That word sounds nice, isn’t it? It’s been a while since I saw my parents too.</p>
<p>Then it occurred to me, a great plan I should have thought about earlier.</p>
<p>With Jonguk already one-year-and-a-half, I thought it’d be perfect for a small family trip back to the place where we used to live and attend school together. Plus, I wanted my parents to meet the baby. </p>
<p>And Kyungsoo must have missed his parents too. </p>
<p>“It’s a great idea, Jongin. But what about work?”</p>
<p>Work... ah yes, I forgot about that. If I have to describe my job in two words, it would be “godforsakenly stressful”. Being a doctor meant having to constantly be alert for the familiar siren of ambulance entering the hospital compound, for new patients to be wheeled in to the emergency room, for the hustle and bustle of families barging in and crying out for their loved ones, for the nurses to push and pull at every little damn thing until there were barely any space for me to manoeuvre my way across the busy hallways, and for me to be on tip top shape with good health, focus and stamina, in case I needed to stay awake for a very very long surgery.</p>
<p>

Most of the time, though, being healthy, focused and energetic were almost impossible to achieve, especially when I’m plagued with sleepless nights and the lack of good nutrients streaming through my body. </p>
<p>Kyungsoo’s cooking each night may have restored some ounce of meat under my skin, but it didn’t push away the headache and stress and exhaustion I’d get during work. </p>
<p>If I had a choice right now, I would choose to go on a long vacation and be damned with work. But I also took an oath to do the very best for my patients and I couldn’t just leave without having a replacement doctor to back me up. </p>
<p>So I turned to my other best friend of more than ten years, the ever loyal and ever loving Park Chanyeol.</p>
<p>“You owe me dinner for the next three months and you’ll have to make my bed every morning for the next five months.” He crossed his arms and gave me a shit-eating grin, I wanted to punch his face for it.</p>
<p>“Oh come on... that’s too cruel. I’m only going for a week.”</p>
<p>“A week will cost me eight more hours of sleep, and I’m already moving with only four hours of sleep each day.”</p>
<p>“Park Chanyeol, you know I love you.” I deadpanned, hoping to weasel my way out of this. </p>
<p>He was relentless.</p>
<p>“Ok fine, I’ll buy you dinner for the next one month and make your bed every morning for two months.”</p>
<p>He merely shook his head.</p>
<p>“Two and three then.” I begged.</p>
<p>“If I let you off on one month of dinner service and two months on bed-making chore, you’ll have to cover for me the next time I decided to take a week off.”<br/>
“That’s an overkill and you know it, Park Chanyeol.”</p>
<p>He shrugged. “Then you set the conditions next time.”</p>
<p>“Deal.”</p>
<p>Then it was done. My one week vacation would start tomorrow. </p>
<p>I will be going on a family trip with Kyungsoo back to our hometown in Busan, and it will be the best damn thing to ever happen this year. Jonguk could also meet his grandparents for the first time. If I counted along my parents, he’d have four grandparents waiting for him back there. The thought somehow made me giddy and excited. Like a real family.  </p>
<p>Kyungsoo packed the bags, booked a car for a week, and we made love the night before, with Jonguk sleeping in the crib at the foot of our queen-sized bed. I couldn’t ask for a better start to a week’s vacation.</p>
<p>Just five months ago, after Kyungsoo confessed his feelings to me (I will never EVER get over it), we started dating officially – as boyfriends first. We usually hung out as best friends when we were still in high school, but now the title has changed. I booked for a one-day babysitter service to take care of Jonguk, then I took Kyungsoo to a fancy restaurant with the money I saved up in my reserve account.</p>
<p>Kyungsoo was too handsome for me to resist. The same night I took him out, I came home and pinned him against the wall for a long, hard kiss. Then our hands started roaming to places we never ventured. I was lost in the heat of the moment. He was lost in my arms. </p>
<p>We made love for the first time, and we never stopped since then.</p>
<p>I guess it’s because we already knew each other for a long time, and the awkwardness was never there. When we weren’t acting like love-struck buffoons, he became my best friend and played video games with me until the late hours on my day off, or we’d watch a movie in the living room and throw popcorn at each other. Sometimes, we’d play certain games that we used to play during high school, especially the blind man’s game where he’d cover his eyes with a blindfold and try to find me as I lead him on.</p>
<p>Jonguk could already talk by then, learning little words like “da-da” – yes, I’m still proud to be the first person he called out to – and “ma-ma” (that’s Kyungsoo, by the way). We almost taught him a bad word once, but Kyungsoo’s quick thinking saved us from a narrow escape of bad parenting. He also punished me for using a bad word in front of a toddler. </p>
<p>Now, back on track. Did I ever mention how sexy Kyungsoo’s moans are? Very.</p>
<p>“Jongin, stop daydreaming when you’re driving.”</p>
<p>“I’m just thinking about that high-pitched moan you let ripped last night.” I stole a glance at him just as his cheeks colored. A blushing Kyungsoo was a rare sight, indeed.</p>
<p>“You’re a perv.”</p>
<p>I laughed. “You still love me though.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I do.” </p>
<p>“Would it make you feel better if I say I do too?”</p>
<p>He blushed even more.</p>
<p>We were on our way to Busan by then. It would be a three-hour drive from where we were and we planned to stop halfway to let Jonguk rest somewhere.<br/>
As I expected, Jonguk was restless during the whole ride. </p>
<p>He kept fidgeting, biting at my arm when I didn’t pay him any attention because I was too focused in driving. Kyungsoo had a hard time putting him to sleep until I had to make an emergency stop at a rest area somewhere and take him on a little walk while Kyungsoo bought some snacks. </p>
<p>Once he calmed down a little, we were on our way again. The three of us arrived at my parents’ house in Busan before lunch. My parents absolutely adored Jonguk. We also invited Kyungsoo’s parents over for lunch. It was suffice to declare Jonguk as the happiest baby in the world in those few precious hours of personal bonding.<br/>
While the charming little critter distracted our parents’ attention, I dragged Kyungsoo to my room, locked the door and well... the rest was history.</p>
<p>“He’s such a charming little boy, very intelligent too...” Kyungsoo’s mum said over dinner late that night.</p>
<p>“Shame about your ex-husband, dear.” My mum added, passing the mashed potato.</p>
<p>Kyungsoo tensed at her words, and I wished my mother hadn’t brought up this topic. </p>
<p>“I’ve always liked that boy, Won Kim. He was very sweet.” Kyungsoo’s mum continued. Kyungsoo was just staring at his food by then.<br/>
“What he did to my son is despicable.” Kyungsoo’s dad remarked. “I won’t have another word about him. You’re making Kyungsoo uncomfortable, dear.”<br/>
“Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”</p>
<p>I wanted to reach across the table and hold him in my arms. He suddenly stood up and just shook his head, tears brimming in his eyes. “I need some moment alone for a minute. If you’d all excuse me...”</p>
<p>Then he ran up the stairs to my room. I ran after him. He was sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up when I found him, looking so small and helpless. I didn’t hesitate to pull him into my arms.</p>
<p>“Hey, you alright?” I asked.</p>
<p>I could feel his head shaking against my chest. “They didn’t have to remind me about my failed marriage. I truly thought he was the one for me... We were together for so long and I didn’t think he would just...” He sobbed harder.</p>
<p>“Shh... the past is the past. At least he’s still treating you well. He’s still helping you to provide for Jonguk. It’s not like he abandoned you completely.”<br/>
“He abandoned Jonguk and I can’t forgive him for that... He abandoned me when I need him the most.”</p>
<p>“I was there for you.”</p>
<p>His crying gradually stopped. I continued to hold him until his sobbing turned into tiny sniffles and I rubbed his back to make him feel better. Eventually, he calmed down enough to let me kiss him on the forehead. I wiped away the excess tears on his eyes and cheeks, traced my right thumb across his swollen lips, and then kissed him chastely. </p>
<p>He kissed me back gently, wrapping both arms around my neck. </p>
<p>Eventually we pulled apart, because someone cleared his throat at the door. </p>
<p>“So I see...” came my dad’s voice, looking at us like we grew two heads suddenly. He was carrying a sleeping Jonguk in his arms. “I wanted to call Kyungsoo down because the child’s asleep.” He looked slightly mortified, to be honest.</p>
<p>I guess it wasn’t the most picturesque thing to see; your son kissing his best friend.</p>
<p>“I guess mum didn’t tell you, huh?” I said. I told my mum months ago, thinking she’d tell my dad. She’d always been the tattletale of the family. </p>
<p>“No, I believe she didn’t.” Then he seemed to be thinking about something. “You know... I used to like a guy back in high school...”</p>
<p>“Ok, conversation over for now.” I abruptly stopped him, not wanting Kyungsoo or the baby to hear this (if he could). I took the toddler from my dad’s arms, gently passed him to Kyungsoo and told the love of my life to wait for me downstairs while I deal with my dad.</p>
<p>This might take a while. </p>
<p>-----------------------------------</p>
<p>Kyungsoo’s POV</p>
<p>Like father, like son, I thought. Chip off the old block, so they say.</p>
<p>I cradled Jonguk in my arms and kissed him gently on the forehead. Slowly descending the stairs, I could hear my mother’s voice in the living room, talking to Jongin’s mother. They were knitting together when I eventually saw them. </p>
<p>“Oh sweetheart, he fell asleep earlier.” My mother said in a hushed tone. “Come here and have a cookie. You can put him in the makeshift crib your dad made earlier.”<br/>
I saw a lot of pillows piled on the floor. Makeshift crib, huh? Nevertheless, I placed Jonguk on top and the little critter didn’t wake up at all.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for saying that to you earlier, dear.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, mum. The past is the past. Anyway, he’s not important to me anymore. Jongin is.”</p>
<p>Jongin’s mum took this as a cue to speak. “Oh yes, speaking of Jongin, how has he been? I got worried when he rarely called these days.”</p>
<p>“He’s been extra busy with work.” I bit into a cookie. It was super duper delicious.</p>
<p>“I see. Well, he could at least give me a call. It made me worried when he didn’t call home at all.”</p>
<p>“I’ll call you the next time he’s busy.” I vowed. She seemed grateful at my words. </p>
<p>“Thank you, dear. Now I see why my son loves you.”</p>
<p>“It’s very cute isn’t it? High school sweethearts falling in love after years apart...” My mum sighed. “Almost like a Korean drama.”</p>
<p>“Korean dramas tend to exaggerate the plot, mum. Most of the time, life seemed pretty mundane.” I snorted, looking over at my sleeping child.</p>
<p>“Don’t be a spoil sport, Kyungsoo. Do you know how I met your father?”</p>
<p>He came in just in the nick of time. Speak of the devil, I thought. </p>
<p>“Did someone call me?”</p>
<p>“You’re always appearing out of nowhere.” My mum chided. </p>
<p>He merely shrugged. “I was out at the back, looking at the herbs Kim was growing.”</p>
<p>“It’s growing quite well, isn’t it?” Jongin’s mum continued.</p>
<p>By then, I knew the conversation would be too dull for me to participate. I slowly slipped away, edging towards the front door. I glanced over at the stairs for a few seconds, thinking that Jongin might come down and we’d take a walk to the park together.</p>
<p>When he didn’t appear, I simply left the house and stepped out for the first time since we arrived. Across the street, I saw my house. From where I stood, I could see the window leading into my room.</p>
<p>My old room. I wonder if my records were still there.</p>
<p>Thinking that I’d take a few minutes to just check out my old room and then return to Jongin’s house, I left without saying anything.</p>
<p>The stairs leading up to the bedrooms creaked when I stepped on them. I knew which steps would creak and which part of the railing had tiny dents on the outer side. I remembered falling down these stairs a million times. I could imagine and remember every little moments of my childhood growing up in this house. </p>
<p>When I got to my old bedroom, I could smell the old books on my study desk. My mum never threw out anything. The floor was spotless. My bed was made, with new bed sheets and new duvet. The old stereo speaker was still sitting on the nightstand.</p>
<p>I hadn’t visited home for almost a year. The last time I came was when I was still pregnant. Four months in. I was a bit feverish so my mum told me to come home.<br/>
I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. Cleared my mind. Breathe. </p>
<p>However, I didn’t realize I fell asleep.</p>
<p>-------------------------------</p>
<p>Jongin’s POV</p>
<p>Frantic and worried. I could literally pull all my hair off, thinking about where Kyungsoo could be.</p>
<p>I looked at my parents and Kyungsoo’s parents. They were talking amongst themselves, suggesting places where Kyungsoo might be. I only prayed for two things by then: first, to have Kyungsoo back, safe and sound. Second, for Jonguk to remain asleep during this whole ordeal. If he noticed his mama missing, he might throw a fit and no one could calm him down but Kyungsoo.</p>
<p>Which brought me back to the original cause of my panic: WHERE THE HELL IS KYUNGSOO?!</p>
<p>“I’ll go look at the park.” I offered. Without waiting for their green light, I took my jacket and left the house. It would be a bit chilly by then, since the sun has set and the streetlights were turning on.</p>
<p>Kyungsoo might be sitting in the park, at the same spot we used to hang around when we were kids. </p>
<p>He wasn’t there when I arrived. </p>
<p>“Shoot. Where in the world did you go?” I was frustrated with myself mostly, for thinking I knew Kyungsoo the best, but in reality, I had no clue about where he might be. </p>
<p>Then it occurred to me that I hadn’t checked his house. I rushed back immediately, entering the Do residence without bothering to knock. Straight to his room, I ran.<br/>
When I saw Kyungsoo sleeping comfortably on the bed, my heart stilled. Immediately, I felt my knees buckled beneath me and I let out a long relieved sigh. Kyungsoo was safe. He’d been safe the whole time.</p>
<p>Thank heavens.</p>
<p>“Kyungsoo?” I called out, trying to wake him up. Instead, he merely shifted to his sides, snoring lightly. </p>
<p>I sat on the bed beside him, stroking back the loose strand of hair from his forehead. “You scared me, Soo. I might need to punish you for it later. Sheesh. At least tell us where you’re going if you’re planning to leave somewhere.”</p>
<p>He didn’t even stir. </p>
<p>“I love you, Do Kyungsoo.” I whispered into his ear. Then from the corner of my eyes, I could see his mouth moving, though without a sound, saying, “I love you too.”</p>
<p>------------------------------</p>
<p>Kyungsoo’s POV</p>
<p>We celebrated Jongin’s birthday (and mine) at Jongin’s house. There was a big cake in the kitchen when I brought Jonguk over to his place. My parents said they’d come over a bit later, after they finished with the house chores. </p>
<p>Jongin was just coming down the stairs in his jammies when I entered the house. He gave one sleepy kiss on Jonguk’s forehead and the toddler begged to be carried by his “dada” this time. After taking Jonguk into his arms, he gave me a sloppy kiss on the forehead too. </p>
<p>“Good morning.” He said groggily.</p>
<p>“What the hell? Are you even awake, Jongin?”</p>
<p>“I’m quite awake, unless the angel I’m looking at right now is just a dream.” He teased. </p>
<p>“I swear you can make a virgin pregnant just by waking up every morning.”</p>
<p>“Are we expecting Jonguk 2.0?”</p>
<p>“You wish!” I took Jonguk back and stomped into the living room, with Jongin trailing behind me, laughing at my reaction.</p>
<p>“You’re the most horrible human being ever, Kim Jongin.”</p>
<p>“But I’m still your human.” He gave me a back hug after I put Jonguk down in his makeshift crib, which was still a bunch of pillows piled up together on the floor. Jonguk seemed comfortable enough, though, because he didn’t cry.</p>
<p>“Did you brush your teeth?”</p>
<p>“Marry me.”</p>
<p>I gave him a look. Then a glare. “Where is this coming from? Did you hit your head somewhere?”</p>
<p>“I’m not even joking, Kyungsoo. It’s too early in the morning for me to pull a marriage joke.” </p>
<p>“Well, it’s also too early in the morning for you to just propose to me when you’re not even out of your jammies yet.” They were penguin-printed jammies by the way.<br/>
“If I take a shower now and put on a pair of old jeans, white shirt and a jacket, would you go out on a date with me?”</p>
<p>“I’m your boyfriend.” I deadpanned. I was internally facepalming. </p>
<p>“Point noted. Then I’ll make today the best day you’ll ever have.”</p>
<p>“We’re getting married on our birthdays, then?”</p>
<p>“13th January, the one day separating your birthday from mine, should be the most special day for us.” He said seriously.</p>
<p>My heart skipped a beat. Oh god, Jongin was dead serious about this. He actually wanted to marry me. I felt time was going too fast for us, because just two years ago, we were only best friends. Now, he was planning to propose to me after only a few months of being boyfriends.</p>
<p>I needed time to think. Yet, I could see the excitement emanating from Jongin.</p>
<p>Would it be a crime... to jump from one failed marriage into another? What if this turned out to be another failed marriage?</p>
<p>What if Jongin stopped talking to me? </p>
<p>What if he abandoned me too?</p>
<p>When I realized I was venturing into the dark corners of my mind, I immediately shut away all those nasty thoughts and refused to let them affect me. The past is the past. Jongin was right. </p>
<p>I needed to move on and find my happiness.</p>
<p>“You go get ready and I’ll ask your mum if she could watch over Jonguk for a day.”</p>
<p>Jongin immediately ran back up to our room.</p>
<p>Oh boy... what do I do now? How do I get rid of this weird guilt I’m feeling? My feelings were everywhere; a haywire. I needed to sort something out first. After pulling out my phone from the back pocket of my jeans, I speed-dialled the fourth number on my list.</p>
<p>Won Kim.</p>
<p>“You know what the court order says, right? Once you get married, I don’t have to pay for your maintenance anymore.”</p>
<p>“Just me. But you’re still supporting Jonguk. I read the petition you wrote, Kim. Don’t forget I was your secretary for almost three years.”</p>
<p>“I never doubted your intelligence, Soo. It’s just that since you’re planning to marry Jongin, and he’s probably loaded enough to take care both of you, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to take responsibility anymore.”</p>
<p>“He’s your kid, too!” I hissed. “And don’t just assume you know Jongin. He works hard to earn a living too, and you of all people should understand how that’s like.”<br/>
“Why are we fighting over this, Soo? I thought we’re done fighting.”</p>
<p>“I needed to tell you, okay. I wanted to know if you’re okay with me marrying Jongin. I know it’s weird... because we’re already divorced. I could choose to marry whoever I want. But I don’t want to feel like I’m doing this behind your back. Despite the divorce, you were still my first husband.”</p>
<p>“No worries, Soo. This won’t break what’s already broken.” I was mad at him by then. The compassionate man I used to know was now a stranger to me.<br/>
“Well, you’re the one who broke it in the first place.” I said, and then abruptly cut the line. </p>
<p>“Baby, you’re okay?” Jongin’s voice called out to me from the top of the stairs. I flashed him a small smile and he looked at me worriedly. </p>
<p>“It’s fine, Jongin. I was just talking to Won Kim.”</p>
<p>He descended the stairs. “What were you talking about?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to tell him that I’ll marry you, but I didn’t want him to stop taking responsibility towards Jonguk.”</p>
<p>“I told you that I could take care both of you. We don’t need your ex-husband anymore.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. After talking to him just now, I feel the same way. He doesn’t deserve to be in Jonguk’s life anymore, directly or otherwise. The three of us could start our own family and live happily ever after.”</p>
<p>Jongin’s anger slowly dissipated. “The date is still on. I’m getting changed.”</p>
<p>He was only wearing a towel around his waist at the time. I followed up after him. Once we entered his room, he promptly locked the door, and we had sex until I was so sore I could barely walk. </p>
<p>I decided to call this special day “JongSoo Day”, combining our names together. It’s the day we celebrated our birthdays together, every year during high school, and now, it’s the day I got engaged to Kim Jongin. Hopefully, next year, 13th January would promise something more special than it already is. </p>
<p>----------------------------</p>
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